How to cure (and prevent) a hangover

Hangovers suck on a good day, but they super suck when one is afflicted on a camping trip. 

However, I wouldn't know because I've never had one. 

Why?
a) Because I don't drink alcohol, ergo I am precluded from this sordid way of whiling away a morning.
b) I am a cyborg and have metabolic prowess that exceeds that of an ordinary human.
c) I have developed and algorithm for the prevention and treatment of hangovers.

As much as I wish the answer was b, c is still better than a and the actual true story.  And since I am way more transparent than, say Google, I am willing to share this magical formula with the world.   Here goes:

Before you indulge
  • Eat-The fattier and more carb loaded the better.  My personal favorite is a heaping plate of queso frito (fried cheese to my uni-lingual friends out there).
  • Vitamins-Take them. Every day.   But especially on a day when strong water is on the menu.
During the fiesta
  • Only drink top shelf liquor-Drink trailer trash and that is what you will feel like the next day.  And act like.  And even smell like.  You might even develop romantic feelings for your first cousin.
  • The secret's in the salt-Macrobiotics 101: alcohol makes you lose fluid, salt makes you retain it.  It's like feng shui for your digestive system.
  • Squeeze those lemons baby-Those bad boys aren't just sitting on your glass looking all pretty and trying to seduce you.  The extra kick of vitamin C will make tomorrow a bright sunshine-y day for you and yours.
(the morning) After
  • V8 is most definitely where it's at.  This vitamins-doused-in-sodium is the secret sauce you should pour over your morning.  Add a couple tablets of ibuprofen and kiss the last remnant of a headache goodbye for good.
  • Camping pizza for breakfast anyone?  Um yeah, and make it a double.  I honestly have no idea why, but this works. 
  • And finally, if all else fails, drink a beer-Nothing like the hair of the dog that bit you to take the edge off.
Trust me, the street value of an ounce ofprevention is worth way more than a pound of cure in this department. 


drinking outdoors rocks!

These snappy campers will still be smiling tomorrow.  Will you?

 

 

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